Today I bumped my head into a mailbox. Don’t ask.
Remember when I told you to pay attention when you have an avalanche of tears? When you start cryin’ and suddenly it gets heavier because you start remembering everything that’s currently upseting you?
Well the bump was pretty heavy so, with my agreement or not, I felt my eyes getting teary. And then it suddenly hit me (well again lol). I could only think of one single thing. One thing I’ve been desperately desiring lately, but burried the desire so deep that I almost forgot it was there. See I didn’t agree with my desire and choked it whilst infant. So I didn’t really think it was still there.
And today it hit me. And it was a hard hit. I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces and then coming back together again.
And later on, cause I couldn’t fully cry at that time, another thing hit me. That I’ve been recently driving like shit, due to stress… And that’s killing me. Because I may not be much, but I’m a really great driver. And if you take that away from me… Well, I get really, really upset. 
Not much of a story, huh? Well it was for me… I was never expecting the first thing to come back. I burried it so deep that it almost felt like it never was there.
I’m saddened. And I’m trying to bury it again. But with all this crap going on around me… I suppose I have no idea when it will bump me next.
I jus’ wish yet again, “for the millionth and the last time”, I’d get to settle down a bit and every piece of greatness or crap stop affecting me so much. Because they’re affecting me much more than they would if I were at peace. :-/
That’s about it, I think. :-/ I’d say you’re missed, and you probably are, but not that way. However, somewhere in my spine there’s a little spot that’s yours. And when I get hit next… It’ll probably hit me right there yet again. Life.
