Another important paradox is the one between good and evil. The fight between two opposites goes on in all of us and in almost everything in the world. There are two opposites in everything, whether it’s good and evil, yin and yang, life and death. And I do believe and hope that somehow, someway, we’re to understand that, eventually, there has to be harmony, mostly because everything is relative (aka what for one is total evil, for someone else is the greatest good).

The paradox is: The opposite things shouldn’t fight against each other. Neither of them will go away, neither are clear on their own and they’re all relative.

(hope I used “paradox” correctly, lol)

It is known that the biggest mind distraction is sex. I often make rude comments to fellow forumists (obviously on a forum), by the likes of: Yes, you could ponder over that bla bla you’re on about, or and this is a BIG OR, you could just have mind blowing sex. Problem solved. Next !

Now, after reading some more stuff, I realize that sex is not only a huge releaser of particular substances in the body (as endorphins and such, and stop fooling yourself that exercise or chocolate will ever make up for it), but you also do not think during it. That’s what some people like to call “stopping the voice in your head”. 

Life is made out of endless decisions. We constantly have so many thoughts that they become overwhelming. So many questions, so many ideas, so many ways to do things… Times we’re scared, times we’re happy and don’t want to lose it. Times we ponder upon the meaning of life like we’d know anything. LOL Times when we can solve problems (and drown in fame) and times when there’s nothing we can do about problems and we sob.

But if you cleared your mind… If you didn’t have one thought… What bliss that is. What perfect bliss.

They say ignorance is bliss. I think they do have a point.

So should you live your life having mind blowing experiences, over and over and over again, in the “chaotic” style I was speaking of? Everybody yearns for mind distraction, from the janitor to Bill Gates, from the woman with a moustache to Angelina Jolie, from the kid playing with his toys to the grown up releasing through video games (and much more).

So if everything we yearn for is mind distraction… Is that not the ultimate goal? To be as distracted as you can for the rest of your life?

There are numerous ideas pointing to this… Par example… If you get angry with someone and don’t let it out at them immediately, you may learn later that the anger has gone or at least softened.

However if we all were to lose ourselves in mind distraction, who would’ve invented cures for diseases? Who would’ve invented viruses? Who would’ve invented marvellous or terrible things?

Nobody, but…

Apart from having to work for a living (assuming you want to live, although technically nobody’s making you live), what else stops you from drowning in mind distraction and forgetting all about the complexity of this world and most of the “second hand information”?

“I didn’t lose my mind, it was mine to give away…”

Going back to basics… That’s what it is. Well the basics of living and the basics of the same “second hand information”, but basics nevertheless.

What’s so wrong with that, instead of tormenting yourself with questions you’ll never answer and truths you’ll never find (mostly because they’re already there)?

Now my mind’s sayin’: “But, but… What would I be if not for my knowledge, for my questions, for my truths?”

Yeah… What would you be? You? LOL You’d still be you. But a more torment free you.

“But, but… What about excellence, achieving and such?”

Yes, what… Do you come with a label that says “become excellent, achieve and such…”? LOL

“But, what about staying safe and such?”

Well nobody makes ya live… I have stated that before. And ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE, yet again. It’s pretty much the law. As for control and security – Still fiction, as Hellen Keller would put it.

Maybe what the samurai achieve isn’t so different. What chaotic people do through pleasure injection, samurai do through mind detachment. How’s that for an answer? Same goal, different ways.

“So what do you mean? The whole purpose of life is ignoring ourselves?”

I’m afraid I don’t have an answer to that. I’m tired with searching for answers. Answers to what?

Men understood that they have to seek for pleasure, ditch pain and avoid death (aka the unknown).

It’s common inflicted law (by one way or the other).

Par example, I don’t want anyone to throw mud at me and call me a shame to society. I don’t want my career thrown to dust. I don’t want anything thrown to dust. I like those things = pleasure. I lose those things = pain. Makes sense?

So that’s pretty much what we do, whether it is our goal or not. Avoid pain, seek pleasure, avoid death (which again is supposed to be painful as it’s a step into the unknown).

Could it also be a vicious circle? Getting pleasure, avoiding pain, losing pleasure, getting pain?

So basically what I am saying is get as much pleasure as possible, face pain and screw death – you can‘t avoid them anyway.

Is that a truth, a goal? I have no idea. Lately I’m failing to see the meaning of life, really. I keep on thinking and thinking about it and simply CANNOT see it. Not unless you “think”, which is obviously a waste of time (at a particular extent). Thinking practically resumes at choosing to live or die. Easier said than done.

And there’s surely some bugger who won’t read this till the end because it’s boring. And they’re correct. It’s all boring thinking.

One last idea: I know I’ve talked about seeking pleasure, facing pain and death, but let’s get back to what we started. MIND DISTRACTION. THAT IS KEY. Call it detachment if you will.

Oh and one last, last thing… Why struggle when you can just let go?

And one last, last, last thing… Maybe in the end, mind distraction is just a way of fooling the body that it’s all ok. I don’t know. Who cares? You do not think of such things when distracted, you do not care, you do not talk about the fight club.

To quote on Jack… “What if this is as good as it gets?” No answer, no goal, no truth. Nothing, as someone else would say.

End of story.

Part of this text has been erased. I thought about some things I said and just wasn’t comfortable with them, so I erased them. Apologies.

She was due to marry long time partner Ryan O’Neal and she’s best known to the public from her role in the tv series “Charlie’s angels”.

RIP, gorgeous.

Putting away what everybody hears/heard on the news…  I got shivers down my spine. I really wasn’t expecting this, believe it or not. Was actually hoping to see one of his final concerts somehow.

Regardless of his stormy life, what we liked, what we didn’t, what we oo-ed or ew-ed in front of, today the world has lost one of its greatest icons.

I still can’t believe it and can’t believe what the news are saying either.

What can be said? Regardless of anything else… One way or the other, he will be missed and his work  always remembered. There’s no way you’d be indifferent to Michael Jackson. You’d love him or hate him, but somewhere, inside of you, there has always been an attraction to him somehow.

Rest In Peace.

The best way to be less of a snake is to become a monk and live in the forest, away from other snakes.

1. What do you like doing so much that you’d actually pay to do it?

Uhmmmm… Partying with the brits, shootin’ pool… I don’t know. Was this supposed to be special? As in something that I never do?

2. If you’d find out today that you have only 5 years left to live, what would you do starting tomorrow?

Well move to England asap, no matter what. Then enjoy the british style and fun… And lurve… And uhmmm… Uhmmmm… Oh yeah… Forget everything about consequences, except for the things which are illegal. Other than that… I’d do whatever I want to do without thinking what it will lead to. I’d be much more straight forward, even if I am too much already, but much more straight forward where I’m not. Other than that… I don’t know… I think I’d write a novel in which I’d share lots of my experiences, without giving names… All that I’ve learnt on love, life, success, failure, pain and so on.

3. If you’d win a million euros, tax free, would you continue doing what you’re doing now?

I think so, yeah, most of it… But I would move to England tomorrow and I would probably travel to other places too… And other than that… Yeah… I’d pay someone to design the lifestyle I’m longing for and supervising me until I reach it. Defo… But other than that… No. Not much.

4. 15 years from now, you get a first page title on you, in the most important newspaper in the country. Which is that title?

Liz Madsen (or whichever ) wins billiards World Championship for the 7th time.

5. What would you like your friends to say about you at your funeral?

She’s been amazing… It’s really sad that she’s now gone… She’s the one person we know who’s lived their life to the fullest. We’ll miss her smarts, her funnies. Liz was funtastic. We hope you’re in a safe place now, love.

6. What should be written on your grave stone?

Here lies the human body of a princess and champion.

Beloved wife of XXX (lol)

We will never forget you, love. RIP angel.

(Not much, huh? =))))))

7. When you were a kid, what did you answer when someone asked you “what would you like to be when you grow up?”

A Royal Canadian Mountie. But I like to think I sort of made it to that with some parts of my character, as I’m constructed (again, in part) on the character in Due South, Benton Fraser – A mountie role model.

8. What would you do if you knew that it’s impossible for you to fail in anyway, whatever you do, without a doubt?

Oh lots of things… This question is far too hard…  But to list a few… Discover immortality, find a cure for cancer (although that probably wouldn’t be needed if I were to discover immortality), win some pool world championships, regain two people I have loved most and lost, transform myself into a Carrie Bradshaw kinda chick… And lots more…

9. What would you like your kids to tell your grandchildren about you?

I’d like  my one kid  (I think one is enough) to tell my grandchildren  if they are to have children what I’d tell my kid about their grandfather. That he was the world’s most sensational man. That he had best logics. That he poured kindness out of his heart and was the breath of an angel. And that he was the strongest I’ve ever known, my saviour and my king (on earth, of course).

And I’d also like my kid to tell the gc that I’ve taught them what respect is and that I’ve trained them well for life.

10. If you could travel to the future, to your last day of living, which three questions would you ask yourself in a short interview?

a) What do you think to have been your best achievement?

b) What’s the meaning of life?

c) Who are you?